3 ways to work out what you REALLY want from life

Do you ever stop to question if you’re living the life that you want for yourself? Or are you super confident that you are living a life that you're passionate and excited to wake up to every single day?

If the answer is no to either of these questions, it might be time to take a moment to reflect on what it is you want for yourself.

With our busy lives, it’s so easy to get swept up in the day to day monotony of just living and getting through each day. But by knowing what you want to get out of life you can begin to make conscious daily decisions that can turn that 'distant, future dream' into a real possibility.

For example; you might realise that your dream is to be a mum one day and would also like someone to share that with. Now you're clear on what it is you want for yourself, you might choose to change your dating habits by only committing time to those you know want something similar for their own future. By being clear on your ultimate vision, you've made a small everyday decision (like who to swipe right on!) that gets you closer to your dream.

You'll begin to feel a real sense of control about your current reality and also about how your future will pan out if you know what it is you want for yourself and are beginning to work towards making that a reality. And with that control comes a boost in your self- confidence because you'll realise that everyday you are now making decisions that are right for you and what you want for your future self.

Sounds great right? But what if you're feeling a little stuck about what you want out of life? Don’t worry, you’re not alone

I had a real ‘am I doing what I love?’ nagging feeling during the 2020 pandemic - I was on furlough for 5 months, so it gave me A LOT of time to think. I realised that I had just been coasting along in the same job and types of relationships for years without giving much thought as to what I wanted or what direction I wanted to go in, and that really bothered me too*.

If that sounds familiar, below I’ve included some of the self-reflection exercises I use with my coaching clients to help you dig a little deeper and reconnect with what’s important to you. These should help you rediscover what you want your future to look like, so you can start to take the steps needed to live the life you've chosen for yourself, confidently. Give them a try and let me know how you get on!


This exercise will give you a chance to think about each section of your life with conscious thought and determine which needs more attention to leave you feeling fulfilled

  1. Write down the key components of your life (say, work, family, love life, hobbies, friends, personal growth, health, finances etc) and quickly score them from 1 to 10, with 1 being completely unsatisfied to ten being completely fulfilled. Don’t spend too much time thinking about it – the number that first comes to mind is most important.

  2. Now notice which area/s score the lowest – these are the ones that are leaving you feeling most unsatisfied.

  3. Make a list of what is making you unhappy about that area and how you would like to feel instead.

Make a list of things you can do to better your life in that area, give yourself a deadline for each action and stick to it!


This exercise is great for immersing yourself in your future and really connecting with your deepest desires

  • Find a quiet spot, close your eyes and think about your life 5 years from now. In microscopic detail visualise:

  • Where you are physically - picture the space or the views you can see, feel the temperature and the weather, notice the colours.

  • Who you’re with – picture the person or people, how do they make you feel, what expression have they got, what are they wearing, what do they sound like?

  • What you’re doing – think about what a normal day would look like for you and how fulfilled you’ll feel

  • . Now dial up the colours, the sounds and the temperature into full bold focus and sit within that experience for a few moments.

  • Now opening your eyes, write down your vision ASAP so you don’t forget all the tiny details Look at this list and compare it to how your life looks at the moment – what’s missing now that is in your vision?

  • Think about the steps you need to take to get from where you are now to where your future vision takes you. Break the journey now into small, manageable steps and commit to completing each one in a certain timeframe.

Take notice

If you’re still struggling to realise what you’d like out of life, take some inspiration from the environment around you.

  • When you’re out and about, watching television or reading a magazine, clock what you notice that leaves you feeling either positive or maybe slightly envious.

  • Be a little more present and think about why that particular sight or sound has left an impact. Perhaps you flipped past a page of someone lounging on a beach that made you feel a tiny bit jealous, maybe that’s because you simply crave a holiday (don’t we all!) or just crave that feeling of relaxation and contentment. Try to start being a little more present and you’ll soon find hints of what you need more of in your life.

Hopefully some of these methods help you feel a little more in tune with your purpose and feel confident you can start heading in a direction you have chosen consciously xx

*After having my own coaching sessions, I became totally clear on what I was passionate about and wanted out of life – turns out it was to be a coach myself, and so here I am!

So, if you’d like a little extra support in boosting your confidence, understanding more about what’s important to you and building personalised action plans to get you there, get in touch to book a free discovery call.

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